Finishing Faithfully 3.0: How to Let Go of Self-Consciousness
How to Let Go of Self-Consciousness
Finishing Faithfully 3.0
Driving my four-year-old grandson home from an afternoon of play together, he speaks up from the back seat and tells me, “Gigi, you wear too much lipstick!”
I let that comment hang in the air for a moment. Then at the next stoplight, I glance at my reflection in the visor mirror and wonder, “Do I?”
“Where would a four-year-old boy get an opinion about makeup?” I ask myself. “Is it possible that I am a laughingstock and do not know it? Is it possible that someone has mentioned such an opinion in his presence and he is merely repeating it?”
What could a small boy know about lipstick, anyway? He couldn’t possibly know that women my age usually have to draw our lips on with lip liner or some form of color so we have a visible mouth.
Self-conscious thoughts like these blow through my mind in a big tangled mess.
However, before I let myself go down path of self-ridicule too far, I go back to another mental question: “Why would he say that? He isn’t even looking at my face. He is in the backseat, buckled in his car seat, drinking from a water bottle…”
Ah, there it is…the answer! As we had prepared to get in the car, I had opened a water bottle and taken a sip before giving it to him when he decided he wanted my drink instead of his. He was merely tasting my recently applied lipstick and remarking that he didn’t like it on the rim of his water bottle.
And I had gone to a totally different place in my mind.
There was a time in my younger years when I might have actually given up wearing my favorite lipstick if I had continued to misread such a comment. But at my age, I’m weary of giving in to self-consciousness and insecurity. It still impacts me, but I am trying to teach myself to shake it more quickly.
I realize no one is paying attention to my foibles, anyway. Everyone has his or her own concerns. It’s better to guard what my lips are saying than to worry about how they look. Encouraging words are prettier than gossiping words any day.
My overall goal is to live by Godly principles and sound judgment. But for things that are merely a matter of preference, I’m learning to be comfortable with my own choices and enjoy them. People-pleasing and perfectionism can put a death grip on one’s soul.
Besides, life is too short not to enjoy small pleasures along the way. I love being a woman. I like wearing bright colored clothing and makeup. I enjoy sunshine and beautiful fragrances and lovely music, and I want to become more fully aware of each blessing around me.
These days, two of my biggest blessings are a delightful four-year-old and his adorable baby sister.